


Don't Regret This Life

by thebitterbeast



Series: ink stains, blank pages [4]
Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Prompt Fic, Stefan is a depressed soul, TVD Free-For-All Comment Ficathon, season 3 never happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebitterbeast/pseuds/thebitterbeast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: 'home is a feeling I buried in you.' [Stefan/Elena]</p>
<p>Being physically separated from each other is nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. lost

**Author's Note:**

> short three-parter that is all angst. I adore writing Stefan/Elena angst because it's easy to write and so much fun. It makes so much sense to have all this angst between them, and it was one thing the beginning of season 3 did right. All that delicious Stefan/Elena angst.

Klaus leaves him alone more than he expects. He believes it’s because he is so lost in the haze of the blood and the rush that Klaus knows he won’t run. That, and Stefan knows that if he even makes an attempt to get away from Klaus, everything he left behind would be ruined. Klaus would destroy it all, and Stefan cannot let that happen.

In the moments when he is alone during the day, he struggles to get himself under control, to keep from attacking innocent people. He knows for a fact that Klaus does not keep an eye on him on all times, and so he times it very carefully.

The more they travel, the more fascinated he becomes with postcards. The trail of compelled shopkeepers, _that Klaus does not know of,_ he leaves behind grows longer as time goes by.

The only rest he gets, from Klaus, from their victims, from the destruction they leave behind, _from his demons,_ is at night once Klaus has retired. It is then that he closes his eyes, inhales deeply, and is with Elena. He knows it’s not real, but his imagination is strong. If he concentrates hard enough, he can almost feel her heart thrumming where she rests against his chest. He can almost bury his face in her hair.

It is then that he is almost, _but not really,_ home.


	2. faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and lots of angst, on Elena's side because really? Elena would NEVER give up hope on Stefan. Never.

The first postcard arrives almost a month after Stefan has left. The scrawled address is in an unfamiliar handwriting and the page is blank. The back shows some kitschy tourist trap she has never heard of.

She knows immediately it is from Stefan. The relief she feels is palpable. She has to hold on to the wall to keep from collapsing. Stefan is alive. Stefan is safe _\- or at least, safe enough to send her a message_.

The postcards keep arriving, but they don’t follow a schedule. Sometimes weeks pass before one arrives, sometimes barely a day. Elena keeps them all carefully in a box under her bed. She takes them out in the middle of the night sometimes to remind herself that Stefan’s alive, that he knows she’s with him.

She never mentions them to anyone, but Jeremy knows. He walks into her room one day without knocking and sees the box in her hand. He says nothing, but it is understood. There is only one reason she’d keep a collection of blank postcards. Her little brother simply kisses her on the head and squeezes her shoulder before walking back out of the room.

Elena’s also pretty certain Caroline and Bonnie have a clue that somehow, Stefan is contacting her. They never say anything, but it’s there in their eyes, and in the hugs she gets on the days after she receives a postcard.

But she never **says** anything to anyone. She simply packs each postcard away, and continues to look for Stefan.

_She cries for Stefan every night when she takes the cards out because she can only imagine the horrors he’s facing, that he has to commit, in Klaus’ company. The cards give her the faith that he knows where home is, and that they will be together soon._


	3. home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion to the angst. They have a long way to go, but if there is one thing I ever want with this show, is that the connection between Stefan and Elena would be handled respectfully. You cannot just give me this relationship and then break it apart like it's nothing. (bitter about the show's handling of the triangle.)

Damon’s lead comes out of nowhere. For awhile, the group harbors a suspicion that it could be a trap, but decide they don’t care. After all, it’s _Stefan_.

When they reach their destination, it is in ruins. Elena panics, wondering where her Stefan is in all of this. She is out of the car before it has completely stopped and runs directly towards the broken door.

The destruction is massive, but Elena does not care how or why it has happened. She vaguely hears Damon confront Elijah, but all her attention is on the figure leaning against the wall. He is kneeling, and his head is bowed. His shirt is torn and she can see blood caked against his body. She aches for him, and frets when she notices that his injuries aren’t healing as fast as they should.

She takes a few steps forward, and only halts when Stefan finally looks up. His eyes are bleak and haunted. She drops to her knees before him, and waits for him to make the first move.

From the inside of his tattered shirt, Stefan pulls a card. It’s another tourist destination she has never heard of, but unlike the others, this has a message. It’s written in what Elena first thinks is red ink, but realizes with a start is actually Stefan’s blood. The message is simple, and Elena’s response is to gather Stefan in her arms.

_’Can I come home?’_

She rocks her boyfriend slowly, murmuring words of comfort as he breaks down. She can feel his tears soaking her shirt, against the skin of her neck. Her own tears fall silently down her cheeks and into his hair as she whispers the words they both need to hear.

_”You’re home now.”_


End file.
